Where do we go after we die? Where are you now? Can you hear me? Should I talk to you more often? Do you know how much I want to hold you and touch you again? Do you know how much I love you? Why do I still feel like this? Did I go back to work too early? Should I have went back earlier? Do people think I’m being too open? Should I shut up about it now? In fact, should I shout about it more? Why do I still feel like this? How many people I know actually disagree with TFMR? Should we have carried on the pregnancy regardless? If we had, would you still be in my tummy? Would I have posted my first bump pic by now? Would I have felt you kick? Why do I still feel like this? Would it have been more difficult if we lost you naturally? Would it have been easier? Is the pain the same for every mother who has had to say goodbye to their child? Am I overreacting? Would I have gotten to full term? If i did, would you have had as many complications as the docs made out? Would you have su
My darling daughter Bonnie, Since we only got to spend a little time together, I wanted to write to you in the hope that you can hear, wherever you are, the words as I write them. I miss you! With every inch of my being, I miss you. I stare at my tummy aimlessly wishing you were still there growing and becoming a big girl, fit and healthy. When you were in my tummy, I’m sorry if you felt like I didn’t talk to you enough, sing to you or stroke my belly so you knew that I was there and cared so so much. Just because I didn’t say every day, out loud how much I love you or how excited daddy and I were to meet you, doesn’t mean I didn’t think it. Maybe you actually heard your silly mummy talking to herself in her head. We were so excited to meet you and watch you grow. We had plans to take you walking as soon as we possibly could. We wanted to show you this beautiful world that we live in and help you learn to walk, talk, read and write. I was desperate to know if you would be sensitive,